My Week

I am a little hesitant to write about last week.
It was a painful inoculation into the world of living with mental illness.

I learned a few things that, unfortunately, many people already know too well.

• psychiatry is much more an art than a science.
• there are no quick fixes.  This is a long journey, and we need to prepare ourselves for that.
• OCD can wax and wane, even on the correct kind and amount of medicine.

It was a trying week, definitely.  We made it through.  We have a short term plan (upping my son's medication), and a long term plan (signing up for an anxiety reduction class through the local Easter Seals).

Though during the worst moments, oddly, I was most worried about leaning too much on the people around me.


I am the type of person who, whenever I get something I really want, will immediately start imagining my Life without it.  This is the first time I have had a support network of such caring, authentic friends.  Sometimes that scares me. I very much do NOT want to lose them.  And, of course, they are loyal and wonderful; listening to me while I cry...or worry...or rage...or apologize...

I want to be a good friend.  I want to enjoy the luxury of letting someone comfort me, while not crossing into the gray area of "the friend always in crisis." I also want to support my friends without crossing boundaries or being "hover-y".  This does not come naturally for me.My love for my friends is genuine, but I sometimes feel like I am faking knowing when to give my opinion and when to just listen; when to tell it like it is and when to just validate feelings; when to challenge and when to just be there.

Mainly, I very much realize how lucky I am in my Life, and I never want to take the people I love for granted.