I'm as surprised as you are, really

I really didn't think I would make it this long.  

Here are some interesting things about the last 24 hours...

1) I learned that brown sugar is just white sugar that was tinted brown with molasses...

2) I realized that blackberries are quite sweet all by themselves...

3) I was able to sit in front of a basket of warm rolls at Metamora Fields and did not eat even one.  

For reals!  

I mean...That's a first.  I have NEVER sat in front of a basket of rolls at a restaurant and not eaten at least one.  Even when I decided I wanted to be 109 pounds and restricted myself to only 1000 calories a day.  

(I know, I know.  I was young and stupid and only 40...)

4) If I don't think too hard about what I am doing, it is not that daunting.  

I am treating caffeine, white sugar, and white flour as if my body were allergic to them.  I understand that this might be offensive to people who actually have food allergies, but I'm hoping they cut me a break because I haven't had white caffeine sugar lately...or something like that.  I'll think hard about another way to think of it later, 'kay?

5) I desperately hope that I don't find out anything too bad about honey, agave nectar, or maple syrup.  I am trying to use them sparingly, but my working belief is that none of them count as "white sugar."  My breakfast today was a couple of healthy banana "cookies" (recipe found on AllRecipes) that were baked with some honey and maple syrup.

6) I have been "anti-"artificial sweetener for some years now.   

I am pretty proud that I have avoided them...so far...in the past 50 hours. 

7) I have to give myself a pass for items that I just could not have known had these ingredients.

At Metamora Fields, I opted for the special.  It was mahi-mahi in pesto sauce (acceptable), green beans, and risotto.  A quick Google search reassured me that risotto is a rice dish and not a pasta dish (hard to tell just by looking at it).  So, I cleaned my plate...thinking "I've been without sugar so long, these green beans taste sweet!"  

Managing enough self-discipline not to lick the plate, I tell the waiter how much I loved the green beans.  He says, "Yes, they are great!  The cook adds a caramel topping that is fabulous." 

...crap...caramel topping?  Pretty sure that is made with sugar!  

It is possible I belabored that point so much that Chris had to gently suggest that I let it go.

90 days to go...

The Voice(s)

"In America...first you get zee sugar...then you get zee women..." - Homer Simpson

I am on day 2 (1 1/2, really) of my new existence without caffeine, white sugar, white flour.  My only "cheating" has been a cup of Tazo Zen Green Tea.

So far it has been more difficult physically than I would have expected.  I knew that I was an emotional eater.  I am all about the "I've had a bad day, and I deserve a cookie".  

But I did not know that going cold turkey would give me such a nasty headache, or leave me feeling just physically yucky.  This is what the voices in my head sounded like pretty much all day yesterday.

Head Voice #1: "Why am I doing this?  I feel awful.  I would feel so much better if I had a cup of coffee."

Head Voice #2: "I am doing to this to eliminate pain.  Remember?  Cutting these foods out will help the pain."

Head Voice #1:  "But I'm in pain now!  Who said this would help?"

Head Voice #2: "That lady with the medical degree on her wall."

Head Voice #1: "How about just one cookie?"

Head Voice #2: "No."

Head Voice #1: "OK..."

5 minutes later...

Head Voice #3: "I can't live this way!  This is not normal.  Why am I doing this?"

and so on...

At any rate, this is probably the longest I have ever gone without refined sugar in my life, INCLUDING the months I had gestational diabetes.  My goal is three months, so I have 91 days left...

Climbing down off the white horse(s)

So, Anthy's fine.  All is pretty well here.  That's why I've not had much to write.  That's the good news...

What's not so good is that I have been having some considerable pain.  We will call it "lady pain", and leave out the details many of you really don't want to read.

This pain has lasted a couple of years and I have finally called it.  I am done.  I am willing to take whatever pill will help, do whatever my doctor tells me, sacrifice whatever virgin goat I have to in order to make.this.pain.go.away. 

A few weeks ago, as a bit of a last resort, I agreed to do a saliva test in order to see if we can find some answers.  The results are back.  I met with my doctor and...I'm fine.  There's nothing wrong with me.  There is no medical reason to be in pain for 2 weeks every 60 days.  Ummmm...yay?

So, I cried.  I'm good at that these days.

There is no pill coming.  There is no magical cream.  There is no virgin goat that will help me.

What *might* help is some dietary change.  My doctor is convinced that cutting out caffeine, white flour, and white sugar would eliminate the pain.  (Once again) Ummmm...yay?

Seriously?!?!?  

My first thought was that there is nothing I could eat for breakfast.  That's how brainwashed in flour and sugar my brain has been.  It took my 30 minutes to go "OH, EGGS...and a banana....and orange juice!"  I have been eating yogurt (sugar), cereal (sugar/flour), and/or toast (sugar/sugar/flour) for so long I could not imagine a breakfast without them.

So, I have convinced myself to try it.  For three months.  I figure no one ever says "Man, I should really get more white sugar and white flour in my diet"...

(You can start making bets on how long I last.)

I'm starting now....

I mean...now...

I mean...in the morning...  :)